Chronicles of the Normandy
by Arctic Banana
Summary: In honor of N7 day, I have located a few word prompt drabbles that I finished a long time ago but never published for Mass Effect! From Shepard's very first moment stepping on the Normandy to his misadventures behind the wheel, there are many (mostly humorous but occasionally quietly dramatic) untold stories that happen behind the scenes of Mass Effect.
1. Introduction

_Happy N7 Day! Now go get ready for Andromeda!  
_

* * *

The crew quickly straightened up respectfully when they recognized who was walking past. "Who was that?" one of them could be overheard whispering.

"That was Commander Shepard, you idiot!" another retorted.

Shepard stifled a laugh at many of their reactions. Some of them recognized him instantly while others had to be told that yes, that really was who they thought it was walking by.

"You didn't tell anyone I was coming?" he asked Anderson.

"I did. Either no one was paying attention or they thought I couldn't possibly be talking about _the_ Commander Shepard," Anderson replied.

His family did have a pretty high presence in the Alliance military, but he was the only one currently holding the rank of Lieutenant Commander. Who the hell did they expect was coming?

" _That's_ Commander Shepard?" someone whispered. "I've never actually seen him before. Why didn't anyone tell me he was hot?"

"I heard he likes aliens. I saw on an extranet news site that he was apparently dating some turian lieutenant a while back."

Shepard wondered if any of them were aware that they weren't quite out of earshot yet as they continued to whisper about who he might or might not have slept with at some point in the distant past.

"Wow. Guess my tabloid reputation really precedes me," Shepard replied sardonically.

"Indeed. I'll have to have a talk with the crew before we take off," Anderson agreed.

 _So this is the Normandy,_ Shepard thought to himself. _Guess I could get used to this place for a little while._


	2. Complicated

_When I'm not romancing Tali as male Shepard, I romance Kaidan. He's just so adorkable! I feel bad for him whenever I'm already with Tali. He just seems so sincere in his confession and then I have to shoot him down.  
_

* * *

The rocky surface they were driving over was considerably smoother than most of the planets and moons that they were used to exploring, so even though Shepard was driving as fast and as erratically as he usually did, the lack of large bumps to hit and hills to fly off of made their ride a lot smoother than it typically was. The unexpectedly smooth ride lulled Ashley to sleep. Kaidan watched her head bob as she drifted in and out before she leaned to the right and fell asleep up against the interior wall of the Mako.

It was just Kaidan and Shepard and his subconscious knew it. _Just tell him,_ he could hear it saying to him. It repeated its phrase over and over and every second that he ignored it caused him to feel more and more anxious inside. _Tell him now or you'll lose him forever._

It wasn't just that Kaidan didn't want to tell Shepard how he felt about him, it was also that he was pretty sure the Commander had a thing for Ash. He took her with him wherever he needed backup more often than not. According to Wrex, the two of them would often chat in the lower deck, though the krogan wouldn't tell him what was said. Ash would bring Shepard up a lot when they were talking. He'd spoken to enough women in his time to know that meant someone was interested.

Come to think of it, Ash wasn't the only one. He was fairly certain Liara had eyes for Shepard as well, and though she did a very good job of hiding it, Kaidan could tell that Tali also had a crush on him but was too shy to admit it. And those were just the people on the ship. It always seemed like no matter where they went, there was some girl (though sometimes it was a guy) throwing themself at him. Why the hell would Shepard be interested in Kaidan when there were so many other people competing for his attention?

"Alenko, are you okay back there?" Shepard asked.

The sudden sound of the Commander's voice startled him. "Yeah, I'm fine," he lied as he struggled to exorcise all of the conflicting thoughts in his mind. He mentally kicked himself when he realized that his tone didn't do much to mask the fact that he was lying and that Shepard seemed to pick up on it.

Kaidan felt the Mako decelerate and slow to a halt before Shepard turned around in his seat to face him. There was no masking the sound of concern in his voice when he asked, "You sound conflicted. Is there something we need to talk about?"

 _Now's your chance. Tell him!_ the little voice in his head repeated once more. Kaidan turned his head when he heard Ash stirring. Her breathing pattern changed and he was no longer certain that she was still completely asleep.

"No," he replied. "Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

He was going to hate himself for this later, he just knew it.


	3. Making History

Many thousands of years from now, Shepard would be remembered for a lot of things. Hopefully it would be for the right things. It would be for making a stand against the Reapers. It would be for protecting the little guys, no matter what race, when they were in trouble. It would be for ending the war between the geth and the quarians with peace and bringing the krogan and turians together as unstoppable allies.

But in reality, he got the feeling that no matter what good he did in life, this would always be what he was remembered for.

"I never knew your dancing was considered newsworthy, but there's already twenty articles and at least seven people who put unfitting music to it on the extranet," Garrus pointed out.

"That's the hill I'm gonna die on," Shepard sighed.


	4. Rivalry

_You all know this guy. In my case, it's my sister._

* * *

Garrus lined the target up for a perfect headshot. The target was as of now completely unaware that his life was in danger. The enemy soldier paced back and forth, stopping only to look around for any sign of movement. Satisfied that there was nothing, he continued his pacing.

How hilarious that such a high tech facility full of secrets would have a single person guarding the entrance? Garrus could see another guard several yards away, but that was still hilariously underwhelming. With one clean shot, the first guard would be taken out, and the second would follow soon after before he even realized that his friend was dead. If he did this right, he wouldn't even alert the base, but if it did, it was just a matter of waiting for them all to line up in his sights so he could take them out one by one too.

He smirked and was just about to pull the trigger...

...when a spray of bullets took out the target. He screamed and swore at the assailant when he ran up to the second guard and punched him hard enough to collapse the front of his skull and kill him instantly. An alarm went off, the sound of assault rifle fire having alerted the entire enemy base.

"Hey! Kill stealer!" Garrus screamed through the microphone. "I had an entire strategy plotted out and everything!"

 _"Quit camping and get down here and help us!"_ Shepard shouted back over the mic.

 _"This is why I don't usually play video games with you guys,"_ Tali added.


	5. 33 Percent

"Oh come on," Anderson grumbled. He stared at the laptop, the download bar stalling at 33%. "You mean to tell me that during my lunch break, that's all that downloaded?" He was beginning to wonder if the file that Shepard had sent him was corrupted somehow. After waiting another ten minutes and having it go up by a mere 2%, the download failed and the browser crashed. "Seriously?! What's wrong with this thing today?"

He gave up. He'd just have to try it at home on his own computer. Instead he decided to check his messages to see if anyone else sent him anything worth noting. The first message was a memo that looked fairly important.

 _Oh hey, I forgot to mention, due to issues with the previous service,_

 _we've decided to switch our extranet provider to Comcast._

 _Let me know if you have any questions or issues!_

 _-Ted (The Tech Guy)_

"...actually, I think that explanation pretty much clears up all of my previous questions," Anderson sighed.

* * *

 _I fear for a future where we will never be rid of the horrors of companies like Comcast..._


	6. Never Again

Silence. There was nothing but silence, the occasional creaking of the ship being the only thing breaking up the monotony. Garrus had made sure it was that way. Shepard hadn't been sleeping well lately, and the second he'd fallen asleep on the couch the turian had chased off anyone that made even a hint of noise and now stood guard over him like an angry varren protecting one of his packmates.

 _Wow, Garrus really seems to care about Shepard,_ Kaidan observed.

There was definitely some sense of closeness between the two that didn't appear to have been there years ago. Garrus seemed to be closer to Shepard than even Tali, who was pretty sure was dating him, and the two were almost inseparable at this point.

It made sense. When Shepard needed him, Garrus had been there when no one else was. They always seemed to be in tune with each other and knew exactly when the other was upset and if they wanted to be alone or needed some form of comfort from the other.

Watching them together, he felt even more guilty than before. Shepard insisted that he didn't blame Kaidan for those many months ago when he refused to come back on account of not wanting to be associated with Cerberus, but in hindsight Kaidan felt like he'd betrayed him by doing so. Garrus hadn't cared who Shepard was with, just that Shepard needed him there. He felt he should have been there too.

He stifled a laugh when Vega entered the room and froze when he saw the look Garrus gave him. The turian stared him down like a hungry predator for a good minute and a half, mandibles lowering so that his sharp teeth were made visible, before James decided that maybe he should probably just leave and come back later. Garrus relaxed soon after that.

Garrus noticed that Kaidan had been watching him for a long time. "Hey," he whispered. "Are you alright?"

His inner turmoil must have been more obvious than he thought. "Yeah. I'm fine," he whispered back, though it was a damn lie. Garrus seemed to be uncertain of the sincerity of his tone and eyed him curiously before going back to standing guard.

 _I am not going to leave you like that again, Shepard,_ Kaidan thought to himself. _Never again._


	7. At Peace

Having lived practically his entire life in space, Shepard was somewhat jaded to stars, which were about as exciting to him as staring at dirt would be back on Earth. Now, however, he could see why Kaidan spent long hours staring out the window, or why Tali was often lulled to sleep by watching them zip by through the skylight in his cabin.

Maybe it was the fact that it was so hard to come across a nice planet with a pleasant climate and a breathable atmosphere where it was safe to just stop and relax or maybe it was because he had his two closest companions with him, but this was undoubtedly pleasant.

"This is kind of nice," Tali stated with content.

"Yeah," Shepard agreed.

"It's kind of cold, though," she added.

"Yeah, a little," he agreed again.

"Doesn't it make you want to cuddle for warmth?" she asked.

"Totally," he replied.

Tali looked to her left and glared at her boyfriend when she saw him leaning over in the opposite direction to cuddle with Garrus. "I meant with me," she said darkly.

"I'm cold too," Garrus replied.


	8. Slow Down

According to whoever had taught Shepard to drive, the established speed limit was a commonly ignored suggestion, like "Don't eat raw cookie dough" or "Do not consume alcohol with this medication". Assuming someone had actually taught Shepard to drive, anyway. The way he swerved around traffic, one might be understandably led to believe that he was self taught.

"Slow down," Garrus said. He had tried to shout it, but it barely came out higher than a whisper. It seemed that even his vocal cords were paralyzed with fear.

He knew he should have volunteered to drive before Shepard even sat his butt down in the driver's seat. It didn't help his anxiety much that Liara was in the backseat shouting, "Truck! Building! BIGGER TRUCK!" every time Shepard nearly collided with something, like she thought he was blind and couldn't see it coming himself.

"I think we just broke 28 rules and regulations back at that stop sign!" Garrus stated. He winced as Shepard proceeded to blow through a red light.

"Oops. I thought that was green," Shepard stated nonchalantly as several sky cars stopped abruptly and honked at him.

"Maybe you should let me drive," Liara replied, her voice almost a plea for him to hand over the wheel.

"Neh, then we'd have to pull over and it would just take us longer to get there."

"Who gave you a damn license?!" Garrus demanded.

"I'm a Spectre. I don't need a license to drive," Shepard replied. Garrus wasn't sure if he was joking or not, but considering the way he had to dive to avoid colliding with a taxi just now, he had a sinking feeling that Shepard was totally serious.

They pulled to a screeching stop just inches from the bumper of another car and Shepard proceeded to nearly rear end someone while parking.

"I don't know what's more amazing, that you've never been in a serious accident or that C-Sec didn't pull you over for driving across the Citadel like a blind salarian..." Garrus said in a shaky voice.

"So what exactly was so important that we needed to rush to get there?" Liara asked once her heartbeat regulated.

"I have to pay a speeding ticket," Shepard replied.


End file.
